Ask the Falls
by Bayel
Summary: A gravity falls and most au q&a hosted by my ocs Rhyis and Alex Pines. Please ask questions in pm or review. Whichever works. I DO NOT OWN GRAVITY FALLS.
1. Introduction

"Welcome to Ask the Falls where you can ask the characters of the cartoon Gravity Falls any question!" Said Rhyis. As she walked over to the camera, she threw her cue cards behind her.

"Of course, they don't know that." She pointed to the cast of Gravity Falls, who were pressing the random buttons on their pedestals.

"We will have our adoring Gravity Falls cast answer questions brought in by the public. After each round of questions, we will tally up the question scores to see who is the most questioned character. My boy Dipper was kind enough to remind me that questions should be brought in by reviews most perferably. For now we will have a sample question!"

A crowd cheers, as supplied by our one and only Bill Cipher.

"From our camerawoman Bayel, for one point, how many times a day do you swallow the pit from Pitt Cola? You have ten seconds."

Ding! Stanley's button is slammed at the same time as Dipper's.

" To the man with the fez." Said Rhyis.

"Darn."said Dipper.

"Elevendy."

"Okay..." continued Rhyis." And I guess that will be all for this round of Ask the Falls! Join us next time!

 **score:**

 ** _stanely:1_**


	2. Sorry

"Welcome back to Ask the Falls where everyone is really hyper cause Bayel put Mabel Juice on the breakfast table! How do you guys feel?"

"Hello World! Icantalkreallyfastdon'tyouknowdemonsshouldneverdrinkthatstufwheee!" said Bill in an excited tone.

"We have a game update and an apology due for our audience!" said Alex. "But first, Rhyis, get Bill out of the washing machine!"

In the background is the high-pitched scream of Bill as Rhyis attempts to dislodge him from the washing machine.

"First up, a new game update!" started Alex. "Now the contestants can press a new green button if they think the recipient of the question is lying! Mabel, why don't you show us how this button works?"

"Sure why not Alli!" said Mabel, as she slams the button with so much force it could have been a fly. Camera pans over to Bill, who was sitting on his pedestal. As he was standing up, a green light pinged on and he was covered in slime.

"Shootin' Star whydya do that!" yelled Bill. "I just got a human form and now its Destroyed!" Bill continues to scream at Mabel while Bayel turns the camera back to Alex.

"Sorry for the slight... inconvinence." Alex glares at Bill while the demon continues yelling. "Now for the second part of today, the apology. We did possibly get a question sent in but there was a slight... handling problem." glares at Bayel. "So to our great sorrow, we did not have any questions to ask our very hyper contestants today. Please keep sending in questions and we'll attempt to get them on air. But for now, the score remains 1-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0 and so forth.

 **scores**

 _ **stanley: 1**_


	3. Ask 1

"Today on Ask the Falls, we have the compelling question asked by our camerawoman Bayel, and a change on the way the game's played. First up, Rev! Dipper has been asked, Do you think your sister is mean?" pans over to Rev!Dipper, currently reading a book.

"This question will be answered after a game update!" says Rhyis. "According to some technical difficulties, our questions will have to be asked in pm. This is because science. On a much lighter note, Gideon will not be able to join us today. The reason being is that Bill doesn't control anger well. Your questions for Gideon will be saved and answered, though." Rev!Pacifica grabs camera and brings it over to Rev!Dipper. Bayel stands by with a shocked expression.

"Now for Dipper's question!" she said.

"Ok, ok just give me my camera back!" I yelled.

"Dipper, what is your answer?"

"Actually, I think it's better not to say when she's around..."

"Well then," said Alex, dragging Mabel out of the room.

"Okay, I'll tell you." said Dipper, defeated. "Yes?" he said in a small voice.

"Okay then folks! That is all for now!"

 **scores:**

 _ **stanley:1**_

 ** _Rev!Dipper:1_**


	4. Ask 2

"We're back to Ask the Falls with our hosts Rhyis and Alex Pines! Our Everything Person, formerly known as Bayel the Camerawoman, has recovered a question! So without further ado, lets get this show on the road! this first question is from a guest to my little Pine Tree!" Bill steps to the side, allowing Rhyis and her question cards to proceed to the stage.

"Y'know Cipher that we, as the hosts, do the intro? But it's pretty much what he said. We have a question for Dipper and la de da de da. But Alex said that he wanted a bigger part so he gets to read the cards!" Rhyis finished with a flourish, indicating for Bayel to turn the camera.

"This question is from a guest for Dipper Pines!" Alex shoots a look at Mabel, ready to push the Slime Button. "No Slime Button yet Mabes. The question is a s follows,"

"Hey Dipper, I have a question for you. According to the parts in Journal 3(go to to get the book that Alex Hirsch wrote, little side note) that you wrote when Pacifica hugged you she smelled like champagne and flowers? Also, you are thirteen years old, how do you know how champagne smells like?"

"What do you say to that, Dipper?" asked Rhyis.

"Well, I guess she did... and I actually kind of guessed on what champagne smells like. I smelled some of her parent's later and it kind smells how it sounds."

"HOLD THE PHONE!" yelled Mabel. "YOU HUGGED PAZ!"

"Mabel-"

"Enough of that Shootin' Star of course he did. And I can't believe he hugged HER and not ME. That little girl has no right to my Pine Tree."said Bill.

"Until next time, we won't know if Dipper is slimed or not cause its kinda pass the minor's working hours and despite what Mabel says, she's not 21." finished Rhyis.

 **score:**

 _ **Stanley:1**_

 _ **Rev!Dipper:1**_

 _ **Dipper:1**_


	5. Ask 3

"We have questions Alex!" yelled Rhyis. "We need to get to the studio NOW! This is sooo exciting!"

"Sure thing but I'm not calling Cipher here again. You do it."

Bill comes out from behind the couch. "No need I'm always watching!"

"Sure..."

LATER

"Welcome back to Ask the Falls contestants! Today we have questions for Mabel, Wendy, and everyone, I guess. Who would like to go first?"

Mabel raised her hand. "Forget Wendy everyone knows I have the most fun answers to random question things! I also have fun stickers!" she turns around, revealing Rev!Dipper covered with stickers.

"Okay everyone," started Alex, cards in hand, "This first question for Mabel is from Illuminati Guest? It asks,"

"Here's a question for Mabel, How come you created Dippy Fresh in the first place? What's your opinion on your Real twin brother? And, Who's better, Dippy Fresh, or Dipper?"

"Ooh that must be a hard one for you to answer Mabel!" said Rhyis. "What is your true opinion?

"Yeah Mabel what do you really think of me?"

"Well," said Mabel, "I created Dippy Fresh mostly because I needed someone to support me in my own trap. I liked Dippy Fresh cause he supported me but for a brother, he was horrible. I really don't like Big City Kids that are like Dippy Fresh and most of the time he was creepy. He was too trusting, and never checked me so I didn't make stupid mistakes. There's no one like Dipper, and I wanna keep it that way."

"Sure, sure whatever. Wendy next." said Dipper, slightly embarrassed.

"For Wendy from Barbacar,"

" Wendy: Have you ever been shot out of a cannon? If not, do you ever want to be?"

"No," said Wendy, "I haven't. But that would be totally awesome!"

"Ok. Next ones from JA75," said Alex.

"This one is for Wendy: For a teen who never had a driver's license, let alone first time car driver, was this the 1st time you get to hot wire a car?"

"No, not really I mean the old golf cart needs some hot wiring every once in a while so I kinda guessed and it worked!"

" Thank you Wendy, now does anyone want to slime them? I mean no one has been slimed yet so..."

"No young man." said McGucket. "These stories seem pretty honest to me. But what am I sayin' I'm just a crazy old coot!"

"That wraps it up!" said Rhyis. "Except where someones asked 'who cares' but I don't think anyone wants to answer that."

 **score:**

 ** _Stanley: 1_**

 ** _Rev!Dipper: 1_**

 ** _Dipper: 1_**

 ** _Mabel: 1_**

 ** _Wendy: 2_**


	6. ASk 4

Scene opens to see Will crouching under pedestal. Mabel comes over and asks him to stand up.

"The shows about to begin!" she squealed. "Why don't you wanna play?"

"I never get any questions-" starts Will, as he is interrupted by crying. Camera turns to stage as Mabel helps Will up.

"Welcome back to Ask the Falls where the intro is pretty boring! Alex and I have received more questions! And why don't we start using those slime buttons!" Rhyis pulls out a set of cards. "Let's just skip to the questions 'cause I want to go to the mall!" she hands the cards to Alex.

"These first questions are from MysteriousMan13,"

"To Stanley: If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it?"

"Well, that's a funny question see- GIMME IT I WANNA HOARD IT LIKE I DO WITH STUPID TOURISTS MONEY!"

"Next is for Dipper." said Alex.

"To Dipper: Would you rather Stay home in Piedmont or Stay in Gravity Falls?" Dipper paused. He had to choose between Piedmont and Gravity Falls? There was no contest.

"Gravity Falls for sure. There are so many interesting things to find here and Piedmont, well its very boring. I can't ever imagine going back! But we did... but then Alex and Rhyis' parents let us go so, yah."

"To Mabel: Why's your shooting star sweater your favorite? When was the first time you ever wore it?"

"First I'm gonna do something for no reason." Mabel says as she slams the Slime Button, covering Gideon with slime. He walks, no, is carried out of the room screaming about his hair. "Now for the question, it's my favorite because I was teaching Dipper how to knit when I made it and I wanna keep it forever, and I first wore it in 7th grade, I think."

"To Wendy: Would you Give a monkey a shower, or give one of the Grunkles a sponge bath?"

"Oh dude," started Wendy, "I would give the monkey a shower no kiddin."

"To Soos: How does it feel to be the New Mister Mystery dude? How's your relationship with Melody?"

"Heh. It feels pretty cool and important but I think Stan ran the shack better. And Melody is good, we're fine. Dude, we went to this movie and I found out she likes action movies. She is totally like me!"

"Great" said Alex. "Rhyis, you can read the next question."

"Oh kay! This is from anonymous, "

" hey Mabel. if you were surrounded by chocolate puppies and pigs wearing sweaters made out of licorice what would you do?"

" Yay I get two questions! Ok, I would probably eat those delicious, but adorable, puppies and I would steal the sweaters for Waddles. I started making him sweaters and he loves them." Waddles, standing at his mini piggy pedestal, walks over to Mabel wearing a sweater saying, "I'm in jail cause cuteness is a crime."

"That wraps it up mortals!" Says Bill, as he pulls out the score board.

 **scores:**

 ** _Stanley: 2_**

 ** _Rev!Dipper: 1_**

 ** _Dipper: 2_**

 ** _Mabel: 3_**

 ** _Wendy: 3_**

 ** _Soos: 1_**


	7. Ask 5

"Welcome back to Ask the Falls where we haven't been filming because Bayel was sick. Today we have questions from Guest, Stars, and Strange Triangle!" Alex walked over to Bill, who had stolen the question cards earlier. "Give me those!" said Alex.

"But DoubleStar I have no questions! That's so unfairrrr!"

"To Dipper from Guest,"

"Hey Dipper, so do you have a crush on somebody?" Dipper looks around.

"Where did that journal go?" he asked, walking out of the room. The camera is dragged over to his pedestal while Bayel picks him up.

"Answer the question... Pine Tree." she said

"Ahh that's unfair and creepy! Ok ok I like Pacifica and it's no big deal okay? Rhyis stop smiling lets go to the next question."

"That's no fair!" yells Rhyis. "Okay then, if you wish. To Mabel from Stars."

"answer this mabes. would you hug waddles every time you saw someone?"

"Of course!" said Mabel "But I don't need to see someone to give Waddles a hug!" She runs to Waddles' pedestal and hugs the pig. Waddles oinks joyfully. Rhyis gets out her cards.

"To Dipper: What would Gravity Falls be like without your Zodiacs?

To Mabel: If you and Dipper are siblings, then how come you almost replaced him with Dippy Fresh during Weirdmageddon? Was he not that interesting?

To Stanley: What would Gravity Falls be like without Bill Cipher?

To Stanford: What happened to the other Journals?" Dipper starts.

"I have no idea, to be honest."

"Oh," said Mabel, "I guess I needed someone to support me in my fantasy nightmare." Stanley slimes Gideon.

"A lot less creepy if you ask me." said Stanley. Bill attacks him, not realizing that his human form was much weaker than his Triangle form.

"That is for me to know and you to wonder." said Stanford. "Bill may be human, but he still has some magic. It's too dangerous to keep the journals."

"Okay security take Bill away!" said Alex. "That's all for today!"

 **score:**

 ** _Stanley: 3_**

 ** _Rev!Dipper: 1_**

 ** _Dipper:4_**

 ** _Mabel: 5_**

 ** _Wendy: 3_**

 ** _Soos: 1_**

 ** _Stanford: 1_**


	8. Ask 6

"Welcome back to Ask the Falls everyone!" said Alex, shuffling his cards. "Today we have questions for Pacifica and Will and something for Mabel I guess."

"I have a question!" squealed Will. He turned and hugged Bill. "I have a question brother!"

"Ah!" yelled Bill. "I know you're my brother but this is weird!"

"Okay then," said Rhyis, "Will, we'll give you your question first. This is from anonymous, Will, why are you so sad all the time? *hugs and gives teddy bear* "

"What is your answer to that Will?" asked Alex.

"I just am and it makes me sad." _sniff sniff_ "Thank you." (hugs anonymous back)

"From anonymous, Mabel, BEARO!" Dipper and Rev!Dipper look over at Alex.

"No not Bearo!" they said in unison.

"Ha ha yes!" screamed Mabel as she was covered in slime by Rev!Dipper.

"Moving on..." said Rhyis. "These are for Pacifica, Let's Go Again Pacifica: Do you like Dipper? Your happiest moments on the show was with Dipper, especially when You hugged him , when he came back to the party, and when you all made a mess on the Northwest floor during the party? How do you feel that he said that you smell like champagne and flowers?P.S. I don't know about you, I will be extremely delighted if a male told me I smell like flowers and champagne."

"Well," said Paz, "I kinda... well... no. Of course I do... don't... AH I DON'T KNOW!"

" Well this one is also for you Paz." said Rhyis. "Lemon93 To Pacifica : how does it feel having only one pony? And two : do you have a crush 7u7 ?"

"One pony was one of the worst days in my life, except when that demon came and ruined my favorite dress. And yes, I do have a crush. Not telling though."

"That's it I wanna destroy that girl for good!" said Bill, looking down, he realized that Waddles was asleep on his foot. "Maybe later..." he said.

"That is all for today guys! " said Alex. "Now go to the break room and eat a donut."

 **score:**

 ** _Stanley: 3_**

 ** _Rev!Dipper: 1_**

 ** _Dipper:4_**

 ** _Mabel: 6_**

 ** _Wendy: 3_**

 ** _Soos: 1_**

 ** _Stanford: 1_**

 ** _Will: 1_**

 ** _Pacifica: 2_**


End file.
